Emotional Boundaries - A Visualization

For Anyone Who's Ready to Stop Taking on Others' Anger, Irritability or Fear

Recently, a patient (let’s call her Anne) told me about a challenging encounter they were anticipating. Their sister had been making a lot of passive-aggressive comments—sarcastic, “I’m just joking” comments. Anne, naturally, had been reacting to her sister with anger—essentially expressing her sister’s anger for her. She regretted repeatedly losing her cool, while her sister seemed to feel especially good after one of these unsettling encounters.

There was an upcoming event where they would be together. I suggested that Anne consider visualization—imagine a different scenario—one in which she was calm, grounded in her wise self, while another part of her was observing what was happening (as if hovering above the encounter). In this scenario, Anne would choose not to accept the platter of anger that her sister was offering her. I was having her access her right hemisphere.

Today, she told me what a great time she had with her sister and added, “I’ll be visualizing everything!”

Her success reminded me of something I wrote while shoring up my own emotional boundaries.