Getting Radical With Gratitude
By practicing gratitude, we are priming our brain to scan our days, world, and lives differently.
“If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, ‘thank you,’ that would suffice. - Meister Eckhart
In recent years, the benefits of practicing gratitude have become more widely known. During this time, my experience has expanded to include two more “radical” forms of gratitude that I’d like to share with you.
In this newsletter, I’ll address:
The increasing importance of gratitude in these times
Examples of gratitude practices
The many benefits
Children and gratitude
Aspirational gratitude
Radical gratitude
Spiritual bypassing
10 Thoughts on Gratitude
Modern Life - In these times, if we’re not careful, we can be in a frequent or constant state of threat. Our screens take us into war zones, assaults, natural disasters, and dehumanization.
In the meantime, for most of us - our actual lives in our homes, workplaces, neighborhoods, and communities are significantly better than the world on our screens. How easily we can forget that. Social media algorithms reinforce our fear pathways. They increasingly exist to put us in opposition to one another and even in opposition to ourselves. Gratitude, on the other hand, exists to ground us and help us return to our humanity.
Right Brain - The left and right hemispheres are always working together. From the left brain, we hone in on details. The left brain is self-focused. It judges, categorizes, and stereotypes. It prefers all-or-none, black-and-white thinking. The right brain, on the other hand, can see the bigger picture of our lives. It grasps nuance and understands compromise. The right brain is where our compassion and, I would say, our soul resides. When we are in a state of gratitude, we are accessing the right hemisphere. We can use gratitude to get there.
Benefits - There is extensive research that consistently shows that those who use straightforward gratitude practices:
Are physically healthier
Have stronger immune systems
Have lower blood pressure
Have improved sleep
Have better self-care
Experience more joy
Are more optimistic
Are more alert
Are more helpful, generous, compassionate, and forgiving in relationships
Are more outgoing and less isolated
Are more open to learning
Are more creative
Ways to Practice Gratitude:
Write down three to five specific “gratefuls” at the end of the day. The physical act of writing helps reinforce those neuronal connections. While we can be grateful for the obvious, like loved ones, food, and shelter, a gratitude practice is more about increasing our awareness of specific things that caught our attention that day - the sunrise, the warmth of a blanket, or the unexpected funny comment.
Journal about one thing you are grateful for three minutes.
Send a thank you note to someone.
If you are religious, you may already have practices built into your religion. The goal here is still to keep a freshness to it, to be specific, and to grow in awareness.
Children - The easiest way to impact a child's life, physical health, happiness, and ability to learn, problem-solve, and create is to teach them a gratitude practice (at home and/or school). Children typically begun very engaged in these practices.
Examples:
Have a glass jar where family members (or students) put gratefuls each day. This is a great reminder that life is about abundance and not scarcity.
Have each family member share three gratefuls at the dinner table or discuss them at bedtime.
Neuroplasticity - By practicing gratitude, we are priming our brain to scan our days, world, and lives differently. We can’t help but start collecting positive experiences. Even if this is not our nature, we can fake it ‘til we make it. Before we know it, we are one of those grateful people who are less focused on how we think the world, our life, our body, or our relationships should be. It doesn’t mean we can’t be activists and create change; it means we’ll be more whole and healthier in whatever we do. If we give the practice at least 4 weeks, those neuroplastic changes are already taking hold.
Who Are We Thanking? As far as our neurophysiology, it doesn’t matter. Some of us may thank God, and some of us may thank nature or the universe. We don’t have to imagine anyone or anything to appreciate that most of the good things in our lives lie outside of us and are given to us by others, nature, or beyond, depending on our beliefs.
“Aspirational” Gratitude - is the type of gratitude you have for things you want that haven’t happened yet. To have this type of gratitude requires imagination. Many (not all) of the things in our life come out of our imagination. We may have imagined having a family, pursuing a career, taking up a hobby, or taking a trip. Those wouldn’t have happened if we hadn’t first imagined them.
With this type of intention, however, we don’t just imagine what we want; we also feel what it feels like to have it and to be grateful for it. This type of gratitude helps create a receptiveness. You might even say that it is already making those neuronal connections that will help us make that dream come true.
Some will use this tool to try to try to “manifest.” Instead of manifesting, I think of my life more as a co-creation. I don’t think that I single-handedly make anything happen. Sometimes, Ms. Divine has other plans for me. I have a trust in divine timing - even when I think I’m ready for something sooner.
Radical Gratitude - a state of gratitude we can invite when we have uncomfortable feelings, such as sadness, fear, or anger. We can say, “Thank you for this feeling.” We can even say, “Thank you for this human existence and a heart that feels deeply.”
The goal isn’t to repress or remove the feeling. This is about allowing ourselves to have the feeling, accept it, and be with it. This shift, emotionally and physiologically, is kinder and gentler than when we resist our feelings with, “I shouldn’t feel this way,” or engage in behaviors that numb our feelings or act them out in ways we may regret.
Avoid Using it to “Spiritually Bypass” - Spiritual bypassing is when we use spiritual practices or thinking, including gratitude, to avoid feeling states that are inherently healthy or to avoid unresolved conflicts. Let’s say someone does something to hurt us intentionally, and we feel sad and angry. If we’re spiritually bypassing, we might think, “I shouldn’t be bothered by this. I should be grateful for all the positive things in my life.” Instead, we could use radical gratitude to sit with those feelings and listen to what they tell us - not repress them or act them out. After doing that and for however long we feel we need to, we may move our attention to how grateful we are for the people who know how to love and support us. We may even, down the road, feel deep gratitude for how the experience led to growth or took our life in a positive direction.
“We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” - Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
As much as we tend to our spiritual lives, we can’t forget to honor our human experience, which includes our feelings.
If you’d like to help me complete this list of 10, please consider adding your thoughts.
Until next time,
CourtneySnyderMD.com
Medical Disclaimer:
This newsletter is for educational purposes and is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment for yourself or others, including but not limited to patients you are treating (if you are a practitioner). Consult your physician for any medical issues that you may be having.