Lessening Our Fear of Public Speaking
10 Thoughts I Wish I Could Have Shared With My Younger Self
According to the National Institutes of Mental Health, 75% of people rank fear of public speaking as their number one fear.
In this newsletter, I discuss:
The impacts of this common fear
Surprising tools that can help decrease anxiety before and during a speaking event
Ways to avoid and manage freeze if it happens
Medication and nutrient-based interventions that can be helpful if needed
This topic is near and dear to my heart. I struggled with a severe fear of public speaking for many years - from my first-grade book report to my grand rounds presentation as a psychiatry resident when I was 30. I still get nervous, but not in the same terrified way.
Impacts
Aside from the actual public speaking situation, there can be painful and all-consuming anticipation. This anticipation can last a school year; for example, when a student learns the first week of school about a presentation they will have to give at the end of the year. Nine months is a long time to ruminate or have a physiologic stress response with every reminder that something scary looms on the horizon. Sometimes the anticipation lasts only a few minutes, for example, when the facilitator unexpectedly says, "Why don't we go around, introduce ourselves... and tell the group why we’re here."
Public speaking brings more than fear and chronic stress; for many, it brings shame - shame that comes with attention, shame about appearing anxious (shaky hands or voice) and shame of having anticipatory anxiety.
Aside from chronic stress, another consequence of this fear is that some will avoid specific jobs, job advancement, or desired careers that require public speaking.
10 Thoughts on Public Speaking…
That I Wish I Could Have Shared With My Younger Self
Normalize the Fear. There are theories about why the fear of public speaking is so common. One is that our survival depended on our tribe accepting us. Instead of discomfort that we might not shine in front of our peers, we have an innate physiological fear - in some cases, terror that we might lose our tribe and be out with the lions. It can help to recognize this fear as normal, to accept it, and not try to fight it. We can even make friends with it, as comedian Bill Hader describes so well in this video for the Child Mind Institute.
Prepare Well But Not to Perfection. Organize the information you're sharing. Keep your mind on the big picture. When we get nervous, we get lost in the left brain details more easily. We can aspire to bring our best without grasping for perfection. Even if perfection were within our reach, people don’t connect to perfection; they connect to real human beings who are, by nature, imperfect.
Make It Interesting or Even Entertaining For You. Give the talk or the presentation that you would want to hear. A turning point in my public speaking journey was when I was a 4th-year medical student doing an away elective on a forensic psychiatry unit at San Francisco General Hospital. I needed to give a talk to the staff on a topic of my choosing. I decided I would present on the insanity defense, a topic was really interested in. While preparing, I focused my attention on the creative process and how I could lay out the information in an interesting way - interesting for me. This allowed me to be less focused on my nerves and have less anticipatory anxiety. When it came time to give the talk, I wanted to share it, and yes, I was still nervous.
Make a Spiritual Mind Shift. This has been the most powerful tool I have used. We can consciously decide to shift from "it's all about me" (left brain) - to serving a higher good (right brain). We can ask, "How can I use this opportunity to help someone," "What do I have to share," or even "What am I being called to do here." It can also help to think of one person in the audience we know or don't know - someone who could significantly benefit. I used to do this when I spoke to groups of parents with children with developmental issues. I remember that feeling when desperately looking for answers for my daughter. This understanding made my self-consciousness seem pretty insignificant. It's not about being liked by "them," it's about helping. We all need each other's help!
Freeze Prevention. Don't memorize. Have structure, but again, not too much structure. An excessive focus on memorization will increase the likelihood of freezing or losing your train of thought. Using bullet points (on a slide or a piece of paper) can help balance structure and thinking on our feet. Thinking about what we are saying gives us a place to put our thoughts so that we are less self-focused. It does help to have a plan if you freeze or lose your train of thought. You can take a moment, breath, and look at your notes. You can even say, "I just lost my train of thought," if you have to. Most people get it. It doesn't have to be a big deal. It's even okay for others to know that you feel nervous, but you don't want to linger there because, again, "It's not about you." It's about what you’re bringing to the universal table in that moment.
Many people worry that they won't be able to answer a question. "I don't know the answer to that" instills more trust than manipulating a question into one we can respond to or BSing our way through it. Not enough people can say they don't know. Be that person.
Calling in Our Body. While we can use our brain to make a mental shift and calm our body, we can also use our body to calm our brain. We can use many bottom-up approaches that ground ourselves using our senses. We can notice our breathing, take slow, deep breaths, and feel our feet on the ground. We can widen our gaze. You might try any of these right now and see if you feel that shift. Before talks, I used to go into the bathroom and wash my hands with warm soapy water. This simple act was soothing for me. Other times, I'd cross my arms and rub the sides of my arms with my hands. Eye contact is also grounding. It can remind us we aren't floating out there by ourselves. Usually, there are friendly faces eager to connect.
Talk Slowly. This is as much for us as for those listening. We don't have time to talk when we're in danger and fighting or fleeing. We speed up. By pausing and breathing, we tell our body (and brain) that we are safe. It's also respectful to those we're speaking to.
Take Up Space. Similarly, how we position or move our bodies can help us access a calmer physiologic state. In her TED Talk, social psychologist Amy Cuddy talks about how "power posing" can be done to boost confidence before entering an intimidating environment. We can do this pose by simply putting our hands on our hips (and while we're at it, we can take a couple of deep breaths). This pose (as with other postural shifts) likely accesses the vagus nerve. We can also take up more space when we are speaking. Hand gestures can do this. We can move away from a podium and walk around if possible. If we are at a table and it makes sense, we can stand up. Though our inclination may be to disappear behind the podium, slump our posture, cross our arms, or even crawl under the table, doing the opposite can surprisingly calm us down.
If Needed, Medication or Nutrient-Based Interventions. In mainstream psychiatry, beta-blockers, such as propranolol, are used to help with the sympathetic (fight or flight) symptoms. SSRIs can be helpful, especially when there are other social anxiety symptoms. I find that optimizing zinc levels can make a big difference. I don't and can't suggest everyone (or anyone) run out and load up on zinc. Usually, those of us trained by the Walsh Research Institute will measure zinc levels (along with copper levels, which zinc can impact) and optimize zinc to the Walsh Pfeiffer optimal range, which is narrower than a typical lab range. Zinc is a big player in the NMDA receptor, which I look forward to talking more about. Those who are undermethylated are more likely to have high activity at the NMDA receptor, which can drive ruminations, phobias, OCD, and addictive tendencies. One cause of low zinc is pyrrole disorder. Shyness, discomfort in new situations and groups of people, and low-stress tolerance are all associated with elevated pyrroles. Aside from a depletion in zinc, high pyrroles can also cause a decrease in B6 and magnesium.
Create New Neuronal Connections Through Practice. Public speaking becomes easier and can be enjoyable. We can expand our comfort zone if we can compassionately practice tolerating some discomfort. Who knows what abilities, passions, and callings we might find there?
What has your experience been with public speaking? What is helpful for you? I am curious if anyone has had experience with Toastmasters.
Until next time,
Courtney
Medical Disclaimer:
This newsletter is for educational purposes and not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment for yourself or others, including but not limited to patients you are treating (if you are a practitioner). Consult your own physician for any medical issues that you may be having.