Recognizing Where We Are On the Attachment Spectrum

What Avoidant/Dismissive, Secure/Autonomous, Anxious/Preoccupied, Disorganized/ Unresolved Attachment Styles Look Like in Toddlers & Adults

In the last two newsletters, I discussed how attachment experiences influence our stress response and beliefs.  I also discussed the many factors that can interfere with this process.

In this newsletter, I’ll describe what appears to be the result of these attachment experiences, namely secure and insecure attachment in toddlers and adults. I’ll discuss:

• The attachment spectrum

• How attachment is measured in adults and children

• The four attachment patterns

  • Secure/Autonomous

  • Avoidant/Dismissive

  • Anxious/Preoccupied

  • Disorganized/Unresolved

Attachment Spectrum

We all land somewhere on the attachment spectrum. Though I’ll discuss the patterns separately, we don’t all necessarily fall into one of the distinct patterns. We may, for example, fall somewhere between secure and avoidant or somewhere between secure and anxious attachment.

Avoidant/Dismissive←-----Secure/Autonomous-------> Anxious/Preoccupied

If we are securely attached, as about 60-65% of us are, we:

1. connect well with others while still enjoying our autonomy 

2. have the ability to recognize and express our feelings and not be overwhelmed by them 

If we are avoidant/dismissive, we have more difficulty connecting with others and accessing our emotions. Our boundaries may be like stone walls.

If we are anxious/preoccupied, we have difficulty with autonomy (separateness) and can become overwhelmed by our emotions. Our boundaries may be too permeable or nonexistent.

Measuring Attachment