The Gifts of Meditation & How to Begin

Also, What the Various Forms of Meditation Have in Common & How They Differ

Apr 14, 2024

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If you’re like I was, you may be wanting, but resisting starting a meditation practice. My many starts and stops were likely less about meditating and more about my inability to prioritize my self-care.

There’s no question that for many of us, learning to sit still in silence (and usually in solitude), can be hard. Our mind may be incessantly chattering about things we’d rather not hear - the to-do list, the worries, the ruminations, the irritations, the should haves and shouldn’t haves, the what if’s, the what we said or did, the what they said or did, the judgments, and the judgments about the judgments. Our attachments to how we think things should is a big part of our “suffering.”

All forms of meditation aspire to take our mind (and body) out of our day-to-day thoughts and into the present moment. Because the sights and sounds around us take our mind in so many directions, most meditation practices will involve removing such stimuli by having us sit in a quiet place with our eyes closed.

Even without “triggers,” our mind will still meander, especially early on. This is why most mediation practices will have us focus on something, or rather have us aspire to focus on something. This could be, for example, our breath, a phrase, or an image.

If you’re interested in starting a meditation practice, don’t let the many options lead you to believe there is a best or right way to meditate. The best type is the one that has you thinking, “Okay. I could imagine doing that,” and the right way is to simply start.

Again, the unifying thread is being present. To do that, we use something to anchor us in the moment. Much of what differentiates the types of meditation is what that anchor is.

Types of Meditation

Do Nothing - This might be considered a gateway to meditating as there is not necessarily an anchor. It simply involves doing nothing.
Mindful Meditation - This can be done during meditation, but also while doing mundane tasks or ultimately throughout our daily life. It involves being aware of our senses and feelings in the moment, without interpretation or judgment.
Focused Breathing - We focus on our breath.
Body Centered - We focus on physical sensations.
Mantra - We focus on a phrase or sound that we think or say out-loud.
Visual Meditation - We focus on something we are looking at or focus on a mental image.
Walking Meditation - We focus on the present moment and what we are observing as we walk.
Contemplative - We focus on a question or a contradiction.
Emotion Centered - We focus on a specific emotion, such as something that makes us happy. We may even focus on sending loving kindness to certain people.
Other Breath Focused - A few examples include box breathing, deep breathing or breath holding.
Trauma-informed - This type of mediation involves grounding (staying connected to our senses and being present in the moment) and self-regulatory exercises. The focus here could be on breath or on an object, such as an object in the hand, or relaxing music. For some who have experienced trauma, sitting quietly with eyes closed and without being grounded by the senses (visual or sound and/or touch) could be more problematic and triggering than helpful. One goal in meditation is to feel safe in our bodies. We should pay attention and honor where we are at and not persist in trying to do something - in this case, use a form of meditation - that may put our mind or body into a threat response or results in flashbacks.
Transcendental - This type is about transcending our thoughts and requires a certified instructor.

We can meditate alone or with others, and we can seek support and instruction. Either way, however, I still think of meditation as a solitary endeavor that paradoxically helps us better connect with others.

Remember that anything we do or think repeatedly, whether it’s self critical comments or ruminations about our health, reinforces neurological pathways. The same is true for meditation. Research has shown that those who meditate have certain areas of the brain that are larger and certain areas with an increased density of neurons and thus more neuronal connections. Such areas involve managing our senses such as vision and hearing, our concentration and our emotional processing.

10 Gifts of Mediation

1. Intention

When we choose to take time (even 10 minutes) to meditate, we are making the choice to care for ourself. We can take pride in our ability to care for others, while sadly neglecting ourselves. An intentional act of self-care and learning to be present with ourselves extends to others.

2. Attention

“Wow…I didn’t realize that was living large in my mind,...but apparently it is!” or “Man…I’m more bothered about that comment than I thought.” Our minds can be on so many unexamined tangents that we’ve never thought about. Though meditation is not about focusing on these thoughts, when we are trying to focus on something like our breath and these appear, we start to notice them in a way we don’t during our daily lives.

We can also notice our attention. Some days we’ll have more or less distracting thoughts that we may judge as annoying or unwelcome. Our thoughts are neither good or bad, nor is the quality of our attention. They are what is and part of this process.

3. Self-Compassion

When our mind wanders, we can gently bring it back to the moment, our breath, the mantra, the sound, the image, or the trees we are walking past, depending on our type of mediation. If our mind wanders a lot, then we’ll have a lot of opportunity to be that loving presence that gently brings it back. Even beating oneself up for getting distracted is just something else we can notice, say hello to, put our arm around and then return to our focus. Learning self-compassion inevitably will grow our compassion for others.

4. Listening to Our Body

Meditation allows us to better stop and notice how our body feels. This is hard to do when our mind is barreling along through our day. Are we tense today, are we calm, how do certain parts of our body feel, are we stiff or do we move with ease? Our bodies have a lot to tell us, especially when we are able to move past judgments about how we think our body should be and feel.

5. Less Reactive

Ask anyone who meditates and they will likely tell you that they are less reactive. There are many reasons for this. Meditation teaches our physiology to calm down. Our hormones, neurotransmitters, inflammation and autonomic nervous system, all of which heighten our physiological state or even put us into fight-or-flight state, soften. By meditating, we grow an ability to pause. We are better able to notice our thoughts, rather than react to them with fear or anger. We can notice the dynamics with others. We can avoid carrying the hot potato of someone else’s emotions. What was unconscious can become conscious.

6. Less Addicted

If we’re not aware of our thoughts or feelings or physical state, we can easily turn to that food, that drink, that drug, that screen, that toxic relationships, or any other behaviors to avoid uncomfortable thoughts or feelings. By mediating, we are less likely, for example, to “stress eat”. Even the physiologic drivers (such as high histamine and dopamine) that contribute to addictive tendencies can decrease through meditation. Much of our ability to have and to regulate our emotions is from our early attachment relationships. Still, through meditation, we can become a responsive caregiver that helps us grow an awareness of our thoughts, feelings and situations that trigger cravings.

7. Accesses the Vagus Nerve

As you may notice, these various gifts are interrelated. When we set time to meditate, we are setting time to take our body out of fight-and-flight (and what can be a lot of breath holding throughout our day). By meditating we are helping put our body into rest and digest. The more we are in this state, the more we are able to access it when we’re not meditating, and the more quickly we can return to it after stress. We simply become more resilient. As with any neuronal strengthening or rewiring, this takes time.

8. Improved Mental & Physical Health

For the reasons I’ve discussed, meditation can improve our digestion, decrease inflammation, help with regulating our hormones and, by way of the vagus, potentially improve the functioning of most of our organ systems. For these reasons, we can have improved physical health, but also improved mood, less anxiety, and better sleep. If we have PTSD, those symptoms can improve as well.

9. Improved Relationships

Even if those around us don’t meditate, they can still catch some of the benefits of our ability to pause, be present, listen and have compassion. By listening to our body and learning to trust our instincts, we become better at setting boundaries. We become better able to see problematic dynamics. And, we become less likely to catch the contagious irritation, judgments and reactivity of those around us.

10. Transcend

This is something that took me time to appreciate. Even now, when I sit down to meditate, I look forward to rising above not just my thoughts and daily life, but the material world itself. This can feel like floating above the house, the neighborhood, town, country and earth. Other times, I might feel a sense that I am dissolving into small pieces until I no longer feel separate. Meditation allows us to have expansive and transcendent experiences.

“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” - Pierre Teilhard de Chardin.

Meditation Practice Example

Again, there is no correct way, but here’s what I do:

I find a comfortable place to sit. For me, this is a cushion that is high enough that when I sit with my legs crossed, my hips are above my knees. This helps me more easily sit up straight. Many people prefer a chair. I keep the cushion out on the floor because seeing it is calming for me and a cue to remind me to meditate.
I set a timer.
I cover my eyes with a sleeping mask, though it’s not necessary.
I start by focusing on my breath.
When my thoughts wander, I gently bring my focus back to my breath.

My practice has changed and will continue to change. Currently in the morning, I do a 10 minute deep breathing practice (with breath holding) followed by a 10 minute meditation where I focus on my breathing. Later in the day, I have 10 minutes of doing nothing (combined with a visual meditation). I usually look out the window and notice all that is going on - always there, but rarely seen. It reminds me of how I felt as a child noticing the sky, trees, squirrels, birds and grass.

When I started meditating, I used guided meditations, where I listened to someone tell me what to focus on. I avoid apps because I can feel the EMF coming off a phone. For many of us, this can make it more difficult to relax.

Currently, I’m fairly consistent and on average meditate 5-6 days a week. If I miss, instead of judging myself, I try to kindly ask, “What was it that I believed was more important than giving myself the care, presence, and compassion for a mere 10, 20 or 30 minutes today?” Because I’ve yet to come up with a good answer for that, I resume my practice the next day, or even sit myself right down then.

“We don’t sit in meditation to become good mediators. We sit in meditation so that we’ll be more awake in our lives.” Pema Chödrön

If you meditate, what have been the gifts for you,? And, if you’re interested in starting to meditate, what is primary motivation?

Holistic Psychiatry

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