The Power of Simplifying Our Spaces
Learning to Listen Inwardly, Let Go & Invite What Wants to Come
“Our lives are frittered away by detail…Simplify. Simplify.” - Henry David Thoreau.
This quote, with its sense of urgency, is a good reminder of our mortality. It’s one of my favorites quotes, because it also brings a sense of comfort, a sigh of relief and needed permission to clear the way for what matters most in life.
There are many ways we can simplify our lives. One way is by considering the items in our spaces. In this post, I’ll discuss how addressing our external environment can create internal shifts, especially when we feel lost, stressed, anxious, down, or stuck. A “space” could be a drawer, the top of our desk, our car, our closet, or a box we’ve stored away. This isn’t about minimalism, nor is this about being neat. I see this as a shift from our left brain, which is driven by collecting and consuming, to our right brain, which attends to the bigger picture of our lives.
Because I’ve thought a lot about this topic over the past 15 years, I’m sharing 10 thoughts from then and now.
1. Acquiring Our Stuff
I’m 56 now, and was 43 when I wrote this. It won’t be hard to see that my left brain was living large.
”I used to love to shop. All those hours spent in a glorious trance, pushing carts, walking aisles, scanning shelves, moving hangers, unfolding clothes, folding the clothes I just unfolded……I did each of these with the serious intent of finding something I didn’t need. As a now ex-"shopper," I’ve wondered why I frittered away so much time. Maybe unnecessary shopping is a remnant from our hunting and gathering days. Bargain "hunting" (see what I mean) at TJ Maxx was a once celebrated bonding ritual for the women in my clan. I thought if I had the right clothes, I could influence meeting the love of my life…. Years later when I wanted our young daughter to develop an appreciation of nature, the first thing I did was take her to the store to buy a magnifying glass with accompanying tweezers,…. I’m sure shopping served as an escape from feelings of sadness, worry, repressed anger and boredom, but I don’t remember any of these. I was shopping. I'm sure I was a victim of brainwashing by mass media, marketing and our consumer culture. But really, the only suspicious thought I remember having was, "Is this a two way mirror I'm standing (undressed) in front of?"
2. Holding On To Our Stuff
(46 years) “Old letters, awards, papers, photos...stored in boxes - kept me tethered to the past. There were also the items that kept me oriented to an imagined future. The formal dress with tags intact, hanging in my closet. One day I would look amazing at some formal event. I could just see myself …standing there ... bored, because in the real world standing around making small talk isn’t actually what brings me joy. Someone else could be having the time of her life in that dress, while I could be having the time of my life doing something else, like climbing Skellig Michael.”
3. Packing For an Abundant Life
(48 years) “I'm looking forward to the day when on a moment's notice, I can grab everything I need, throw it in a bag and hit the road or sky. I've enjoyed consumption, but now one of my favorite past-times is getting rid of things....forever...ahhh.... Like many, I fondly recall when life was simpler. The last time for me was when I was 27, living in a studio apartment in New York City with one small table, 2 chairs, a sofa sleeper, a trunk and a lovely view. There was nothing more I wanted…..I expected my life would evolve and change....marriage, divorce (didn't expect that), marriage (as I'd hoped), a child and a career. My "grown up" years have been filled with more loving, sharing, nurturing, joy, and meaning than I could have imagined. But, never in my youth did I expect to spend the amount of time I have looking for, buying, returning, losing, finding, organizing, forgetting, straightening, fixing, dusting, packing and unpacking...things that I didn't care about…..I don't know what I might have done with those lost moments - but this summer, I had a taste: sixteen days in Ireland with my husband, daughter and just three small suitcases. With so little to manage, I felt closer to myself, my family, my purpose, my humanity and the natural world……Thoughts of returning home were followed by an urgent need to purge. My life was about to change…”
4. Process
(48 years) “I decided I would simplify my life, starting with clutter. I trusted that the physical and seemingly mundane process of going through one drawer at a time would help me find my way. “Does this matter to me? Is this important to me? Do I need it...NOW? Is it meaningful NOW? Is it beautiful to me...NOW? Does this item add to my current life or does it take away from it?” With these repetitive questions, I was rewiring my brain…..I was finally ready to cut cords from the past, imaginary future and even guilt about items I didn’t use. Not wanting my daughter to have the same burden, I tried to teach her to be thoughtful about the items in her spaces. I wish this transition was as graceful as I’d like to make it sound…Our next move, however, highlighted how much stuff remained. Some had quietly crept into our lives since that first decluttering.”
5. One Fell Swoop
(49 years) “Instead of asking, ‘Is this meaningful, beautiful, or useful,’ my husband and I asked, while donning hazmat suits and respirators,’Could this make us sick?’ ....’Could the mold toxins and spores be removed?’ ‘Is it worth the trouble and expense to clean?’ ….Some people, upon learning they have mold toxicity, will leave with only “the clothes on their back.” Others will do some home remediation. We did what we thought was best for us at the time, which involved getting rid of most of our items.”
At the time, I was “limbic,” highly sensitive and in survival mode. When I had a later exposure, I didn’t feel the need to purge in the same way. Given our experience, the likelihood of re-exposure, and our simplified life, we had fewer items and had been more thoughtful about the types of items we let in. Also by that time, I wasn’t as sensitive or limbic.
6. The Gifts of Simplifying
(50 years) “What we were left with was more space - not only in our home, but also in our schedules and in our lives - space that allows us to breath, think and be - space we’re not eager to fill. We’ve taken time and are exceedingly particular about what items we allow into our home. We’re also exceedingly particular about who and what activities we allow into our lives”.
7. Listening to Our Inner Voice
Sorting, arranging and removing does wonders for the mind and spirit. It’s a great practice, especially for learning how to really listen inwardly. There is always a drawer or a space that I can go to, to help me sort things out.
8. Learning to Let Go
The physical letting go of items is a powerful way to learn to do so psychologically and spiritually. It reminds us not to hold too tightly to the past or perceived future. It forces us to be in the present and to let go of our need for certainty and control.
9. Creating a Vacuum
When we remove what no longer matters, we are creating a space - an invitation - for what the universe wants to deliver. Simplifying is a great way to spark change.
“The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak.” Hans Hofman (1530 German painter and draftsman)
10. Finding What Works for You
There’s never one way to do anything. If you feel a need to simplify, you’ll find your way. For me, the most effective and sustainable approach has been to regularly take one small space and simplify. There are few constants in my life. This “spiritual practice” of simplifying is one of them.
If you’ve transformed your life through simplifying, consider adding to the conversation.
Until next time and as Jonathan Swift liked to say, ”May you live all the days of your life.”
Courtney
Medical Disclaimer: This newsletter is for educational purposes and not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment for either yourself or others, including but not limited to patients that you are treating (if you are a practitioner). Consult your own physician for any medical and psychiatric issues that you may be having.
Courtney, You truly are a gift to all who come into your circle. Your journey has enabled you to share such important things to what truly matters!
Blessings to you & your family!
Mary Ann Kendall